Vegeta Muyo!
A DBZ/TM! crossover by Travis J. DeSantis
Episode 04 ~ No Need for Valuable Lessons!
And so it went for the days thereafter that the Saiyajin no Ouji was handed over to each member of the Masaki household in turn.
Much to the prince's dismay, Day Two was assigned to Ryoko. Their mutual dislike had only grown by the evening. At every turn another argument would start, at time the space pirate ignoring Ayeka to clash egos with Vegeta once again. By the end of the day, several small craters pock-marked an empty field out back, the result of Washuu finding it entertaining to let their disputes become violent. (Vegeta had little doubt it was another opportunity to study his abilities.) The final tally was 3-to-1, in favor of the prince.
On Day Three, Vegeta's belief that the Juraians, for all their bravado, were race of fragile little bores was confirmed. Ayeka passed the day with various tasks the boy warrior found tedious and unnecessary. She spent an outrageous amount of time tending to a mere seedling plant, doing such strange things as talking to it. Vegeta had no desire to find out about what they 'discussed'.
After that, much time was wasted watching other people's silly little problems on Washuu's big screen intergalactic television. While Ayeka hated Ryoko even more than Vegeta, they seemed to have no trouble enjoying the show together. Or maybe a soap opera was some kind torture game to see who could last longer, because neither stopped crying the entire time. But despite the hygiene oriented name, Vegeta couldn't help feeling dirty after it was over.
Day Four also reaffirmed one of Vegeta's opinions, that the Galaxy Police were as incompetent and ineffectual as the Juraians. He'd never seen someone sleep so much. A Saiyajin wouldn't be caught dead in such a vulnerable position. After Mihoshi's nap, she watched her usual comedies and game shows. For the Saiyajin Prince, this was another day wasted of inactivity and quiet contemplation. Vegeta swore he'd never spend so much time on thinking ever again.
The one consolation would have been when Tenchi tripped and rather strategically planted his face directly in the blond's considerable cleavage. After the teen fainted and fell off, Mihoshi innocently peeled off her blood-soaked shirt then and there. Had Vegeta been of an appreciative age and mind-set, he might have cared. But he did make note that humans could survive massive nasal hemorrhaging. All in all, it was an uneventful day.
Around this time, Vegeta had realized how very cursed he was. As much as he enjoyed battle, a week away from Freeza and his minions was a vacation any Saiyajin could appreciate. But as it were, being trapped in a house of borderline nut-cases on a back-water dirt ball planet while under constant scientific observation was as close to Hell as he could imagine.
Day Five brought a welcome change of pace. The boy was roused before dawn by Tenchi and sent up to Katsuhito's shrine up the nearby mountain. Vegeta certainly had no great liking for the elder, but it was a rare experience to study the somewhat reclusive man. Once again, the Saiyajin wanted to look for some secret to Katsuhito's strong presence. Vegeta climbed the many stone steps, his footfalls sounding quite loud in the early morning air. He found the old man standing under the torii, a broom in his hand and a knowing smile on his face.
"So tell me," Katsuhito began, as they sat with a cup of tea after the sweeping was finished. "What is it about your people that makes them such fierce warriors?"
"It's in our blood I suppose," Vegeta said offhandedly. "You've had much experience with my kind?"
Katsuhito took a sip of tea and paused. "Only through word of mouth."
"Che, don't try to dupe me. I'm surprised anyone on this boondocks planet knows about us, but if you're one of _them_"--he jabbed a thumb back at the Masaki house--"You must be more than some simple old man."
"Appearances can deceive, I'll grant you that," the man chuckled. His eyes gleamed behind the square-framed spectacles. "But what makes you suspect this humble old priest?"
"I've done plenty of deceiving myself," Vegeta admitted, "so I can tell when someone is hiding something from me."
"Deception only works when your enemy does not suspect. The fool believes himself untouchable when he himself is being deceived."
"What are you trying to say?" the prince growled.
"Am I trying to say something?" Katsuhito chuckled. "I'm just an old man that likes to pretend he knows what he's talking about. Then again, isn't feigning ignorance like hiding in plain sight?"
"Kono! Stop speaking in riddles!"
Katsuhito finished his last sip of tea and rose from the table. He removed two bokken from the closet, crossed the room, and opened the front door, waving the prince on with his other hand. "If His Majesty will accompany me for a walk?"
But Vegeta snorted, crossing his arms stubbornly. "I'm not playing your games anymore."
"Patience is a virtue, my friend. How about a deal?" he added, eyes twinkling. "If you agree to humor this old man, I'll be straight with you from now on."
"What do you want from me?" Vegeta asked, intrigued but still cautious.
"Maybe to show you what you're looking for."
Vegeta grudgingly rose from his pillow and exited the house, trying not to let Katsuhito's mysterious smile get too deep under his skin. The elder kept up his air of enigmatic silence as they walked around to the back where Tenchi was training. The boy grumbled to himself about "baka ningen."
"Take this," Katsuhito said, handing Vegeta a bokken. "You've seen Tenchi training with one, so I trust you understand the basic principle behind its use." The prince waved him off as if to say he needed no instruction on how to swing a stick. The old man spotted a small woodland lizard scuttling across the dirt, so he stood in its path. In its fright, the lizard froze and stared up at the two far larger beings. "Imagine this was much larger and poisonous, but you could only fight it with a bokken. Where would you strike?"
Vegeta snorted at the absurdity of the question. "The head, of course," he replied.
"Even though the tail is faster and can whip you? Or the claws, which are four times as numerous and just as sharp, can cut you?"
"If the head is destroyed, the body poses no threat," the prince responded condescendingly.
"Sou ka," the older man said simply. He started to walk away.
"What about you?" Vegeta demanded.
Katsuhito turned slightly, the sun reflecting off his spectacles and hiding the mischievous look in his eyes. "Why would I want to kill such an innocent little creature?"
"Bah! You're no better than those tree-hugging Juraians."
"If that's the way you feel," the elder began with a laugh, "then the torii needs scrubbing. I'll get you the bucket and brush."
The prince stared at Katsuhito's back as he walked around to the front of the house. In his hand, the bokken's sturdy handle cracked under the pressure of the Saiyajin's grip. The lizard, who had now thought it safe to scuttle away, was skewered as Vegeta plunged the length of polished wood into the ground.
~~~~~
Day Six came and Vegeta was awoken early once again, but this time by the blue-haired princess Sasami. "Mezameru, Vegeta-chan," she smiled sweetly. "We have a lot to do today."
"Yosh," Vegeta muttered, getting up from his customary corner.
Misinterpreting his sarcasm, Sasami giggled. "You're so silly! Chores aren't quite _that_ fun. I'll meet you in the kitchen," she added before descending the stairs.
Vegeta turned to the window, Sasami's light footsteps gradually fading away. It was a bright day and the skies were so clear that the moon was visible. It was faded in the ceaseless blue sky, but still very near full. The prince smirked darkly. [I just need to be patient for a little longer,] he thought.
The boy proceeded downstairs and crossed the hall, pausing to glance at the door that led to Washuu's lab. He frowned, wondering if she was watching him now, then continued on his way. As Vegeta entered the kitchen, Sasami came in through the other door that led to the pantry.
"I overheard Tenchi-niichan saying it's been a while since he had okonomiyaki yesterday, so wanted to try and make it," she explained. "And I was hoping..um..you would help me like you did before." That last bit was added with a little blush, which went unnoticed by the prince.
"Like I have a choice," the Saiyajin said with a shrug.
"I...wouldn't force you do anything you don't want to!" She set down the basket of vegetables she had brought in.
"Whatever," Vegeta responded nonchalantly. "Let's get this over with."
Sasami tried to teach the warrior how to cook a proper Japanese pancake, but the process proved to be a bit harder than peeling cucumbers.
"Alright, the challenge is with the yam!" the Saiyajin growled. "Why you, putting on a rough exterior and all that!" Sasami peeked over her shoulder, wondering why the boy was arguing with his vegetables. She cringed as Vegeta whipped out a knife and hovered over a yam with boiling rage. "I'm going to strip that skin of yours!"
Much swearing and burnt pork later, the meal was finished. When breakfast time rolled around, everyone was nervously avoiding the pizza-like mess made by Vegeta. Maybe they thought it was poisoned. Or at the very least, that the prince was as bad a cook as Ryoko.
Trying to hide his embarrassment, Vegeta was eager to prove his okonomiyaki was as good as Sasami's. "Now, open your mouth wide! This is the peak of perfection!" he mumbled, shoveling a plateful into his mouth. However, this was not the wisest thing to do. [Oh blast it, I just completely forgot the mayonnaise!] Fortunately, Saiyajin weren't susceptible to such mild forms of food poisoning.
By mid-afternoon, the days chores had been completed and once again, everyone was off going about their business. It was during this time that Sasami allowed herself some recreation. Today, this meant some quiet time to sit down and catch up on her shoujo manga.
The Saiyajin couldn't understand why the girl next time him kept sighing and blushing as she perused the various packets of printed paper. Overtaken with curiosity, Vegeta picked one up and started flipping through it. Though he couldn't read Japanese, the boy was immediately struck with how lanky and weak the woman were. And how the men looked girlier than the women. Vegeta had teased his vassal Raditz once or twice for looking so feminine (apparently taking after his mother), but he had nothing on these guys.
"Bakana," Vegeta growled. "What's with all those floating bubbles and sparkles and whatnot? And why are there flowers on every damn' page!?"
"It's symbolic," Sasami explained with a giggle. "In that one, the heroine is forbidden from seeing her true love. She's like a delicate desert rose, whose love can only bloom in the cover of night. It's so romantic," she added with another sigh.
"Romance, bah. What a waste of time," the prince sneered, throwing in a roll of his eyes for good measure.
"You don't have romance on your planet? What about love?"
"Saiyajin courting is very straightforward. A couple sizes each other up and if the consider the other to be strong enough, they mate. Simple as that. Emotions just complicate the matter."
"That's so sad," the princess whispered. "You...you must be very lonely, Vegeta-chan."
"Lonely!? HA! That's real funny, girl," Vegeta retorted. He laughed ruefully. "My only concern is fighting and getting stronger. Even if I wanted to, there are no Saiyajin women left. It's a moot point."
"What if," Sasami began quietly. She was fingering a page of her manga nervously. "What if you fell in love with a girl who wasn't Saiyajin."
"Oh ho, now you insult me! No self-respecting Saiyajin would breed with some tailless weakling."
*rip*
Sasami was smart enough to let it drop after that.
~~~~~
Vegeta was approached by the red-headed scientist after dinner, much to his dismay. "What do you want now?" the prince growled. "Come to run tests on me like some lab animal?"
"Sou desu ne," Washuu smiled back at him. She snapped her fingers and a portal opened behind the boy. He was once again snatched up by the mechanical tentacles and dragged through a battery of scans and examinations. By the time he was deposited in a chair in the girl's subspace laboratory, Vegeta was feeling quite violated. Washuu popped up next to him with an impish grin, now wearing a white lab coat. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"
A shiver ran down the warrior's spine. Not even in Freeza's presence did Vegeta feel so small and insignificant, like a bug under some mischevious child's magnifying glass. To this bizarre young girl, he was no more than a subject of study and experimentation. The Saiyajin gritted his teeth, watching her back as Washuu turned away to work on a large machine. It had various glowing lights and sharp pointy protrustions, looking quite unpleasant.
Vegeta tried to maintain his composure. This was the perfect time to act and he would need every once of strength. With a sharp intake of breath, the boy quickly gathered as much ki as he could. The control collar around his tail immediately reacted by pouring on a few thousand volts into his spine. But he would not fall so easily this time and used the pain as a focus. More pain meant more power, more and more. Enough to attack, enough to kill!
Electricity rose off the prince's body, but whether it was from him or the collar was unclear. Sparks flew and the lab was cast in a stark contrast from the light emanating from the boy. A lifetime later, Vegeta could feel it. The pain persisted, but he had broken the seal. He pointed a hand at Washuu, the collar's effects making it twitch and jerk. A rush of energy later and a small ki ball formed in his hand. Vegeta fired it, but his attack was dissolved by whatever invisible barrier surrounded the scientist.
His concentration broken, all the strength drained from the prince's body. He collapsed in a pile on the floor as smoke rose from his cooked flesh. The collar had returned to standby and yet Vegeta's muscles still spasmed from the strain, shock, and exhaustion. If he were conscious, he might have screamed.
"I guess that means you're done," Washuu said. A beeping started from Vegeta's Scouter--which had sat in the lab for the past week--and drew the redhead's attention. She fixed it over her ear and picked up the incoming signal. "Moshi moshi?" she answered sweetly.
"Uh, Vegeta-san?"
A small window opened up, hovering in front of Washuu's mouth. "What is it?" she barked, now sounding exactly like Vegeta.
The voice on the other end of the line sputtered. "Er, um, we have new orders for you from Kiwi-san. Since the purging of that planet is taking so long, Freeza-sama wants you to return to headquarters."
"Tell him to shove it. I'll be done when I'm done."
"N-nani!? Veg--"
"Vegeta out," Washuu said, cutting the man off. She giggled mischeviously, but with the small window over her face, it sounded like Vegeta. The girl frowned, poking the window so it popped like a bubble. After putting away the Scouter, Washuu sat down in front of the Saiyajin on her floor, chin in hand. "Now, my sleeping prince. Let's see how you broke the collar's seal."
~~~~~
"I'm sorry, Kiwi-san. There's some kind of interference and I can't connect with Vegeta's Scouter again." The communications officer breathed a heavy sigh, a single bead of sweat rolling down his face. Kiwi was notorious for punishing his subordinates. "Should I relay a message back to HQ?"
"No need to trouble Freeza-sama," Kiwi responded. The purple alien had one hand on his hip, the other twirling a chin tendril. His hairless brow came down and he sneered. "I shall go retrieve the monkey myself."
